Make Me Believe

Make Me Believe

Make me believe
in love again.
I’m tired of being tired
and alone in the end.
Mend what was broken.
Show me the way.
I just want to believe!
Please make me believe!

I bought the dream
but was sold a lie.
When it all fell apart,
again I would try.

I gave it my all
‘til there was nothing left,
but I bear the blame
‘cause I fooled myself.

So make me believe
in love again.
I’m tired of being tired
and alone in the end.
Mend what was broken.
Show me the way.
I just want to believe!
Please, make me believe!

I’m no longer sure
how I can begin
to rewrite this story
with a different end.

‘Cause my faith was shattered
before you met me.
My heart may be broken,
but you hold the pieces.

So make me believe
in love again.
I’m tired of being tired
and alone in the end.
Mend what was broken.
Show me the way.
I just want to believe!
Please, make me believe!

Hold me when I’m hurting,
keep me by your side,
leave your heart open,
don’t let your love hide,
and make me believe.

If I Had No Tomorrow

If I Had No Tomorrow

Broken hearts,
angry words,
built up walls
never fall,
insults too often hurled;
but second chances
not often granted
to forgive in this world.

Take a moment
to take stock of our life.
It makes no difference
who is wrong or who’s right.
Would it really matter
if this was our last night?

If I had no tomorrow,
would you regret yesterday?
Would you give everything
to take it all back
and love me a different way?
Would you forgive my imperfections
and let go of all the pain
if I had no tomorrow?

Silly games,
foolish pride.
Won’t give in,
but cannot win
if amends isn’t tried.
We shouldn’t give up
on what’s a good love.
Our hearts, we shouldn’t hide.

Time to let go,
leave the past in the past.
Every moment
should be treated like our last,
because you never know;
time moves by us so fast.

If I had no tomorrow,
would you regret yesterday?
Would you give everything
to take it all back
and love me a different way?
Would you forgive my imperfections
and let go of all the pain
if I had no tomorrow?

In the end, my dear,
what matters most
is that I’m here,
with arms and heart
open to you; and I know
that this petty fight
would seem so slight
if I had no tomorrow.

I Just Wanna Bang On The Drum All Day

Handsome has a heart of gold, and I try to remember this when he does something that irks me.  I try to remember that all of his actions come from a good place and that he's not trying to drive me crazy.  Still, I have to wonder when he acts without thinking.

On this occasion, Handsome has purchased a set of drums for one of his boys.  The excuse is that he missed their last Christmas and birthday.  It's one of the many downfalls of joint custody when you live across the country from your ex.  I really do sympathize with this, being that I also have custody issues and distance to deal with.  However, I think a drum set is a pretty expensive toy to buy when he is hollering every day about how broke we are.

Now, his idea of broke and my idea of broke are two different things.  His idea of broke is when the bills are not payed a year in advance and we can't afford all the luxuries.  My idea of broke is when the bills are a year behind and you can't afford the necessities.  Either way, we shouldn't be buying drum sets, but that doesn't seem to matter when Handsome's guilt comes knocking.

I know I should probably take a deep breath, plug in my mp3 player as loud as I can, and let go of my anger and frustration; but I really have a hard time doing that when I walk by the boys' bedroom and find Handsome banging away on the brand new drum set he supposedly bought for his son.  Maybe if he was a little better at the drums.....No, it would still piss me off.  Who am I kidding?!  I want to take those drumsticks and shove them where the sun doesn't shine.  I want to beat his thick skull on the $40 stair stepper he wouldn't buy me because we can't afford luxuries right now.  After that, I want to roll him up in his new car mats and dump him off a cliff.  Did I mention that I quit smoking?  You can hardly tell, right?

So, yeah, I've been a little more anxious and aggressive lately.  I might just be blowing things out of proportion.  Perhaps a little music therapy would help, like the most awful drum solo I can create sometime around Handsome's bedtime.  That wouldn't be so bad, would it?