Men suck (extreme version)

I'm not perfect. In fact, I've made some very HUGE mistakes, mostly involving men. And to be perfectly honest, 90% of my mistakes are due to the same thing: I want to believe the best in everyone. Some guy says he wants to be nothing more than a friend, I totally believe him, up until I end up in a compromising situation with said friend. Do you realize how many times this has happened? I couldn't even begin to tell you.

Okay, I admit it. I'm totally retarded when it comes to men and I never learn my lesson. I was taught to look beneath the surface of a person to see the diamond in the rough and I took that lesson to heart. The problem, I'm discovering, is that men don't have a below the surface. I keep puting my faith into something that doesn't exist and, at best, I end up with egg on my face and looking more than a little naive.

It's a good thing Handsome knows this about me, or the latest situation could be more trouble than it already is.

Okay, here's the deal. Handsome and I have been remodeling this house for over a year now. The latest project has been the yard. It's required major work that is more physical than I'm capable of and so Hansome has hired a contractor. Mr. Contractor is a neighbor. A married neighbor, and has become pretty good friends with Handsome along the way. This is a good thing. There's nothing better for a couple than to be able to hang with another couple who is facing the same trials that coupledom brings. Handsome gets a dude he can build and drink beer with. I get to vent about men to another woman. It's all good.

Anyway, Handsome and I just got new phones with unlimited texting. Mr. Contractor loves to text. He sends Handsome a multimedia text that Handsome's phone won't open, so we direct Mr. Contractor to send it to my phone which will open them. Mr. Contractor starts texting me, now that he has my number. Everything starts out really innocent. Then I discover that I can edit the photos I take with my phone and add funny things to the picture. I take one of Handsome and jazz it up, then send it to Mr. Contractor because it is so freakin' funny. Mr. Contractor sends me a text back saying he wants a photo of me. A really "good" photo.

Do you see where this is going? I didn't. Yep, I'm so retarded.

Anyway, a couple of texts later, I start to get the picture. I tell Handsome. I'm still not sure it's suspicious, but I don't want any doubts in Handsome's mind. I'm not trying to lead this guy on. Handsome has less faith in Mr. Contractor than I do. So Handsome suggests I send him an innocent photo, like the one on this blog. I send it. Then Handsome wants me to send him another photo that's not as innocent. We find one that is more suggestive. Not rated R or X by any means, but not something you send a "friend".

Anyway, by the time it was all said and done, there wasn't much left to guess at. Unless Mr. Contractor shows up tomorrow to tell Handsome that I'm sending suggestive photos, Handsome is ready to fire him. And do I feel stupid. I really spent the whole time trying to convince myself that there was a misunderstanding. On the other hand, I start to rethink every conversation and gesture that Mr. Contractor has made towards me and it's not looking very good. You see, I need these things pointed out to me before it starts to sink in. There's been odd looks. Nothing vulgar, but just a bit beyond friendly. There's been touches. Nothing dirty, but you just don't touch your friend's woman........at all.....ever. And then there was the time we all went to a lake to bbq. There's a rope swing there and I jumped in, clothes and all. It was a bit windy and a bit chilly and I was shivering my bum off. Mr. Contractor takes the shirt off his back to give to me. I think nothing of it because Mrs. Contractor gives me a pair of her pajama pants. Just friendly gestures, ya know? But there was a look on his face that I didn't understand at the time. Hind sight being 20/20, it all looks different now.

So, I've either now caught Handsome's paranoia about the world or I'm finally seeing the light. I'm not sure which is worse. I just really hope he shows up tomorrow to tattle on me. Otherwise, Mr. Contractor really was betraying his wife and his friend for a stupid little picture and I can't bear to see Hansome hurt over that kind of betrayal. We also lose our contractor and there's this insurance nazi that has been raking us over the coals and will use this as a reason to not pay. I'm just sure of it. Ughhh! So, seriously, how do I face this dude again? 'Cuz he either wants me and is willing to be sneaky about it or he thinks I'm a tramp and now has a PG-13 photo of me imprinted in his brain. Either way, it's just creepy. And how could I be so dumb as to not see this coming if he is a sleaze?

Okay, my brain is hurting from all this twisted logic now. I need sleep. Men suck.

Gratitude (Poem)

Gratitude

It never would have worked out.
It’s all for the best.
You just want to get out,
so give those lines a rest.
You really want what’s right for me.
You cannot give me what I need.
Baby, do you think I’m naïve,
or that I’m just that blind?

Okay, so I’m not gracious,
but who can really blame me?
You really think I’ll thank you
for all the lies you told me?
I’m just a little angry
now that I can see the truth.
Twist the knife a little deeper;
I’ll try to show some gratitude.

It wasn’t that you played me.
Sure, you really care.
We both know you betrayed me,
but I’m not being fair?
You really want to do the right thing,
give me the chance to find something.
Honey, I just do not believe
you hurt me to be kind.

Okay, so I’m not gracious,
but who can really blame me?
You really think I’ll thank you
for all the lies you told me?
I’m just a little angry
now that I can see the truth.
Twist the knife a little deeper;
I’ll try to show some gratitude.
Forgive me my sarcasm
and try not to feel guilty.
I don’t want you to feel that
you owe my heart anything.
I’m just a little angry
now that I can see the truth.
Twist the knife a little deeper;
I’ll try to show some gratitude.