Monday, July 26, 2010

The Brady Story Continues

For the most part, I love my life. I wouldn't trade it for another one, not even for riches or fame. And the things I don't love so much about my life seem so insignificant at times. I just wish it wouldn't play out like a reality show/sitcom sometimes.

Here's the story, of a single mother. She was raising three kiddies on her own. She struggled with ADHD, and couldn't keep a neat home. Here's the story of an Army soldier who was trying to rebuild his life again. He had three kids he had to fight to be with and a job he no longer believed in. Then online the single mother met the soldier and they knew it was much more than a hunch, so they started to remodel a home together and now they are a modern day Brady Bunch.

And now another episode of our story begins. Handsome just got the news that he has six weeks to six months to get his stuff in order before he gets stationed at another base. Since he's about 90% certain he will be deployed from the next base, I won't be going with him. I will stay here in this house, no matter how far we've gotten on the remodeling. Did I mention that I haven't had a kitchen in over a year? He thinks he's leaving in December, which means that he'll miss Christmas. We're under pressure to finish the kitchen with the limited funds and time that we have. We have the kids' school year to prepare for. It's crazy. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

The plan is this, finish what we can. I stay here with the kids while he checks out the new base, and if he doesn't get deployed from wherever they send him (we still don't know where he's going yet), then I'll join him during summer break. Which begs the question: What will we do with our house while we're gone?

I know a lot of military spouses have gone through this before me, but first of all, I'm not a spouse. I don't have that security. Marriage is still a very touchy issue with us. Second, he's pretty sure he's deploying, which is stressful enough, but we also have a whole crap-load of ex's just waiting to cause problems with custody, a house that's not quite finished, and still no idea of what's around the corner. I'm pretty sure that the military has a good reason for keeping their soldiers unprepared for this stuff, but I couldn't possibly figure it out. In this market, why not let a person know where and when they are moving so they have time to sell their house or make plans with their family if necessary.

I also have the three-year-curse to deal with. We're nearing the three year mark and I can feel the tension. We're both tired of feeling like we're being taken for granted. I know it's just a communication thing, men from Mars, women from Venus, but it's just so hard to forget, even if you can forgive. Handsome thinks he's showing his appreciation by doing a job he hates to provide for me and mine. He wants to see me do a job I hate to prove my appreciation for him. I work on an emotional level, not a physical one to show my appreciation. I want him to do the same. I want empathy and affection from him, he wants a military tight house. And I'm pretty sure neither one of us is capable of giving what the other wants.

So, unstable relationship, unstable house, unstable future. Not even the kids are a constant, with all the custody exchanges going on. Crazy, crazy, crazy. You can't tell me it doesn't have the good makings of a reality show. Move over Kate plus Eight, here comes Modern Day Brady.