Family Cookbook

I found this wonderful site where you can enter the ingredients of a particular dish you make and it will give you all the nutritional facts about that dish. It's really neat. I'm planning on using this to make a cookbook up for each member of the family containing the favorite family dishes we prepare on the holidays. I'm really excited about this. I'm also planning on adding photos and maybe some family info regarding a particular dish, like how it started or just a funny story associated with it.

The planning of this little project of mine has been a blast. With each dish I add, I discover numerous memories once forgotten. I've also discovered new dishes that I think will be excellent additions to our feasting traditions. I can imagine the kin folk thumbing through the pages now. They'll laugh to themselves when they cross a particular recipe that strikes a chord. They'll pass this cookbook on to their own children, telling them about the times those meals were prepared that made them so special.

For as long as I can remember, my family has been centered around the kitchen table. It's not only a place where we filled our bellies, it was also a place where we filled our souls. We'd conversate, play games, do homework, or work on a project at that table. It was the hub of our existance. Well, still is actually. And I'm excited to be adding something to it. I'm also excited to know that my kids will get the opportunity to experience many of the same moments I did. As they pour over a favorite dish, they will be taking a little piece of the past along with them into the future.

Isn't that so cool!?

Nothing

About the time I start to understand things, the foundation of these things change. I sometimes wonder what it is that I'm doing wrong that this world is so chaotic for me. I know people who only see this world in black and white. I've only seen shades of grey. I've always felt that my way was the right way, but I've envied those others so much. It's so simple for them. There is only right and wrong, love and hate, day and night. There is no between. It is such a simple way to live.

Tonight is such a hard night for me. I'm so torn. I want something, but in order to make someone I love happy, I have to let it go. Only, I'll be so devestated to lose it. How do you solve a problem like that?

I guess I should explain, but for once I don't want to. I'm not even sure why I started writing tonight. I guess it's because that there seems so much left unsaid. I'm losing something so dear to me, and it's gone in the blink of an eye, no warning. A big piece of your life is gone in a nanosecond, and you don't get the opportunity to bring it back and make it come out different.

Different. If I could make things different. I'm not sure what I'd change, really. I don't have any regrets. I loved him. I treated him the way I wanted him to treat me. There's nothing I could change to make things end differently.

I just want to know, did he ever love me at all, or did I lie to myself this whole time? Did he cling to a kind touch because he was down? Did I give him too much, make it too easy for him? I just want to understand. That's all. Why is that so hard?

Huh?

I couldn't sleep tonight. This is very unusual behavior for me. Usually, I can hit the lightswitch and be in bed asleep before the lights go out. That is, unless I have too much going through my brain.

This is one of those nights that my mind won't shut off. I've been thinking a lot about Sexy and I, my new home that I'm working on and all that I need to make it right, about going back to court with my ex to change custody, and about school. There's more thoughts rolling around my noggin like a bowl full of marbles, but those are the major ones. And believe me, it's enough.

Mainly, I'm trying to figure out a way to sort it all out and deal with it. There's a lot going on right now and I suck at multi-tasking. You'd think I'd learn after having three kids in one year, but some people just don't have that skill. I don't think it's one that can be learned either. Still, if there's a way, I'm going to find it.

I've been thinking about making a self-hypnosis cd to play at night while I sleep (if I can sleep). I've heard somewhere that if you're trying to learn a foreign language, then you'll learn it faster if you play a recording of it while you sleep. I'm wondering if you can do the same to learn how to break bad habits. It's worth a shot anyways. My other option is to hire a personal assistant and I don't have that kinda money.

Anyway, I know this is totally random, but that's about how I feel tonight. Strangely enough, I think I can go to sleep now. So, goodnight all. May the force be with you.

Nadda

I've finally managed to catch a few moments to myself. This is a bigger challenge than one could possibly know. I finished my test in my online class, I still have some work to do in my Economics class, and I have a disaster of a house to clean yet, but I decided a few moments of "my time" could be beneficial. It's been a crazy couple of days, after all.

I'm pleased to report that the chitlins have had their procedures done. The battle with my ex over this was more complicated, yet strangely easier, than I expected. I did return the kids to him late Wednesday night, but he sent them back Thursday night so that I could (finally) get this done. The whole thing went very well and the boys were back to their ornery selves that very day. Of course, the ex didn't even bother to call and check to see if they did okay. They could have had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and died and he wouldn't even know the difference. Jerk.

Other than the daily grind, nothing much has been going on. I'm still working on my new abode, though a bit slower than when I started. I'm hoping that by the middle of next week, I'll have the necessary tools and equipment to pick up the pace. I'm so ready to get back into it. I hate the feeling of being stagnant. I'm ready for some direction. Well, other than the circles I've been moving in.

Seems like a lot of my life moves in circles. Dating, school, work around the house, it's all moving forward and yet nowhere. I suppose that the blame for this can be cast solely at my feet. I could have picked a different route to take. Still, it would be nice to have an easy moment of forward movement on the route I'm on from time to time. I do like my life the way it is, for the most part. I wouldn't want to be anywhere other than where I'm at. I like being a mother , a student, and yes, even a girlfriend to the impossibly stubborn Sexy. The only thing that would make life nicer would be if my ex would grow some grey matter and a little humanity, responsibility, and compassion with it, and if I could instantaneously acquire my degrees and a permanent home in which to raise three perfectly balanced babies and dawdle with my numerous hobbies. Don't ask for much, do I?

Here's a question: How come no one else seems to be continuing on with their journals? Am I the only one who is still writing? I think I'm the only one who is required to take Comp II who hasn't signed up for it this session, so I think it's odd that I'm the only one who appears to be writing still. I wonder if anyone even checks on the journals anymore. Maybe I'm just talking to myself. Oh well, it's not like it's the first time, or will be the last. I would like to see more from others though. It would be nice to see how everyone is doing.

Well, "me time" is about done. I do have all that work to finish (sigh). Perhaps I'll write again later tonight when I've got the biggest portion of it taken care of. Hey, if you're going to ramble aimlessly to yourself, you might as well go for the gold, right?

Catch-Up

I hate being sick. I really hate playing catch-up when I start to feel better. I said start because I'm still not my usually perky self. I feel like an old dish cloth (used hard, wrung out, and hung up wet). It probably would have been better if I hadn't had the kiddies this weekend, or if my folks would of been in town. Heck, even in state would of been nice. I did discover something incredibly important though. I cannot be doped up and still deal with three toddlers. They're quicker than me anyway, but add in a little cold medicine and it's truly an unfair battle.

So, today has been a crazy day. I finally got my laundry and dishes caught up. I definately need to find me a place where the washer and dryer is on the same level as the rest of the house. Stairs suck! I finally got my homework done for my business class. Thankfully, most of it was done earlier in the week. Now, I'm playing catch-up on my blogs. Thank goodness this was a light week homeworkwise. If not, I would just have to crawl back in bed.

Ooodles of Fun

Hairless poodles
Toaster Strudels
Ramen noodles
Labradoodles
Magnadoodles
Goodbye/tootles
Scribble/doodles
Snickerdoodles

Can anyone think of any more?