Handsome has a heart of gold, and I try to remember this when he does something that irks me. I try to remember that all of his actions come from a good place and that he's not trying to drive me crazy. Still, I have to wonder when he acts without thinking.
On this occasion, Handsome has purchased a set of drums for one of his boys. The excuse is that he missed their last Christmas and birthday. It's one of the many downfalls of joint custody when you live across the country from your ex. I really do sympathize with this, being that I also have custody issues and distance to deal with. However, I think a drum set is a pretty expensive toy to buy when he is hollering every day about how broke we are.
Now, his idea of broke and my idea of broke are two different things. His idea of broke is when the bills are not payed a year in advance and we can't afford all the luxuries. My idea of broke is when the bills are a year behind and you can't afford the necessities. Either way, we shouldn't be buying drum sets, but that doesn't seem to matter when Handsome's guilt comes knocking.
I know I should probably take a deep breath, plug in my mp3 player as loud as I can, and let go of my anger and frustration; but I really have a hard time doing that when I walk by the boys' bedroom and find Handsome banging away on the brand new drum set he supposedly bought for his son. Maybe if he was a little better at the drums.....No, it would still piss me off. Who am I kidding?! I want to take those drumsticks and shove them where the sun doesn't shine. I want to beat his thick skull on the $40 stair stepper he wouldn't buy me because we can't afford luxuries right now. After that, I want to roll him up in his new car mats and dump him off a cliff. Did I mention that I quit smoking? You can hardly tell, right?
So, yeah, I've been a little more anxious and aggressive lately. I might just be blowing things out of proportion. Perhaps a little music therapy would help, like the most awful drum solo I can create sometime around Handsome's bedtime. That wouldn't be so bad, would it?
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