I've been eating a lot of Chinese food as of late. I just get in these moods where I crave a particular food, or style of food, and cannot rest until I get my fill. No, I'm not pregnant (shudder at the thought).
Anyway, I always end up ordering around $50 of the stuff for me and my kin at each order. Therefore, I always get a lot of fortune cookies. I never eat the dang things. However, I can't seem to stop myself from breaking each one open to read the little saying inside. I guess it's the optimistic part of my nature.
I have only one thing to say about fortune cookies. They lie. Actually, I have several things to say about them. First of all, very few of them tell what I consider a fortune. Most of them have dumb sayings like, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." Or they say something like, "Your friends consider you to be a valuable person to know." Whatever. Like that really impresses me. Of course my friends value me. They wouldn't be my friends otherwise. I'm not rich, famous, or sleeping with someone rich and/or famous.
But the thing about fortune cookies that really ruffles my feathers are those gems that pose as a real fortune. I received one the other day that said, "You will cross great waters on a fun vacation soon." Huh? Great waters? Does this mean an ocean? I'm broke, my schedule is booked, and I'm not sleeping with someone rich and/or famous. And how do they define the word soon? Soon, as in the next couple of days? Soon, as in the next month or so? Or are they basing this off the time scale of a Galapagos turtle? They live, like, 300 years or something, don't they? By their standard, within a decade or two is soon.
Seriously, folks, I'm thinking oceanic travel is not in my playing cards. However, I did save that little slip of paper. I have it posted on my fridge. I take a little mental trip when I look at it. I think of all the places I won't be going. I imagine what it would be like to be on a ship with nothing but water all around for as far as the eye can see. I suppose it sounds silly, but I've led a sheltered life. At this point in time, I haven't seen the ocean, much less traveled it. It's one of the things on my "to do" list. You know, the list we all have filled with things we never really believe we'll get checked off.
Still, despite the fact that I don't believe in cookie fortunes, and regardless of the fact that I think the cookies themselves taste like crap, I doubt I'll stop breaking them open. Maybe I'm being overly optimistic, but I can't help but hope that one day I'll find a really good fortune that does come true. Something like, "A fortune cookie in the hand is worth a bazillion dollars in your bank account." Then I really could travel some great waters.
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