Previously Known As.....

Have you ever been put in a situation where you had to step out of the role that you previously filled to step into a role you never thought you’d be in? It seems like I’ve been doing just that for the past 6 years. First, I stepped out of the role of irresponsible party girl to become Suzie Homemaker. Then I left Suzie Homemaker for Divorced, Single Mom. After that, I changed back into Suzie Homemaker with a little added twist. Now, I’m Commando Mom (complete with power tools)! I can juggle six kids, remodel bathrooms, and even fold a fitted sheet!

Seriously, being with Handsome (previously known as Ssg.) has to be the strangest relationship I’ve ever been in, simply based on the changes in myself. I really am a girly-girl at heart. I like to paint my nails, scream and cry like a baby when a spider comes near, hate touching anything moldy, rotten, spoiled or decaying. I don’t run for exercise. I’m terrible at staying organized. I’m the last person in the world I thought would be capable of doing what I’ve been doing.

I kid you not. I have been taking care of six kids (ages 4-8) for a couple of months. Handsome has three kids from previous relationships, I have three kids from a previous relationship. Together, we’re a modern day Brady Bunch. And while he doesn’t have full custody of two of his kids, we have had them for part of Summer break, and I’m missing a few brain cells. They’ve been burned out by stress.

As far as the bathroom goes, I have been hauling toilets out of the house, loading them in Handsome’s truck, unloading the truck at the dump (by myself). I’ve been helping install shower stalls (one piece, for those who understand how truly heavy that is and how badly the fiberglass on the outside of the stall makes you itch). I had to help take the new dang shower down the stairs, and the fun part is that the last step is now missing due to neglect.

I’ve been keeping track of all of Handsome’s Army gear, because I finally met someone less organized than I am. I’ve been keeping track of all the kids activities, all of their belongings, all of their medical appointments and everything else that a Mom does and gets no credit for. It blows my mind too, because I am so incapable of being organized. I’m what I like to call a functional dysfunctional individual. I have my quirks, but I have learned to work with them instead of against them. This does not extend beyond my own functionality, however. I’ve discovered that no one else in this house can work with my chaotic system. So, big changes. I had to get organized (to a point). The hardest part is that I’ve had to stay that way. This is where I struggle. It goes so far against my natural programming.

And speaking of natural programming, it also goes against my nature to do any physical activity that I’m not absolutely required to do. My idea of sports is fishing and horseback riding, and I don’t mean bucking broncos, I mean a gentle little mare who couldn’t make it beyond a light trot unless a wolf was nipping at her heals. Any sport you can sit through is a good sport.

Now, however, I’ve taken up jogging. It’s crazy! I haven’t run more than a few seconds since grade school. Make no mistake, it wasn’t a strong desire to that got me started. What happened, as Handsome would say, is that I reached that magical age where my hips explode and apply for their own zip code. It hasn’t gotten out of hand yet, but I am unable to fit into most of my jeans.

So, recap: I’m touching fiberglass and moldy gypsum barehanded to remodel a bathroom, I’m getting up earlier than necessary to go jogging down the street, I’m organizing a household that has a natural tendency to be a disaster, and I haven’t painted my nails in about 8 months. I’ve had to get tough, and I hate being tough. I want to be a sissy. I don’t think Commando Mom gets to be a sissy, however. And despite it being totally against my grain, I find that I really do enjoy the new role. I’m proud of the changes I made for my family. I just wish I could have a day, now and again, where I can give myself a pedicure or go fishing. Is that too much to ask?