Thursday, January 28, 2010

I can't believe he ate the whole thing!

I am not what you would call a technology guru, but I am using the keyboard that my dog chewed up thanks to my highschool electronics class. Thank you Mr. Franchini, wherever you are.

I don't know the extent of the damage to the keyboard. I don't know if I got all the keys functioning when I fixed it. And it all could have been avoided by buying the wireless keyboard but I didn't feel like spending that much money. That's what I get for trying to be frugal.

Of course, it wouldn't have cost that much to replace the keyboard. It was only $13 at Wal-mart. Then again, I did fix it. I'm so dang proud of myself!

It's kind of funny. I've been focusing so much on all of the stuff that I can't do lately that I've forgotten about all of the stuff I can do, even if it's not all that well. I know how to change a tire. I can frame, mud, and paint with the best of them now (slight exaggeration). I can strip and solder wires. I can sew. I can fold a fitted sheet. In fact, I'm an adorable bundle of talent. Why did I ever forget that?

I guess it's easy to forget these things when you have so many people pointing out your failings and misgivings on a constant basis. Which brings us to the next question: Why in the world did I ever think this relationship was going to be good for me?

Handsome and I are not doing so well. That much is pretty obvious. What's not so obvious is what I'm going to do about it yet. When Handsome is not on my case about absolutely EVERYTHING, he's a pretty swell guy. If we were just friends, I think we'd be great for each other. Romantically speaking, it's just not working out the way I had hoped. Then again, none of my relationships have worked out the way I wanted, so maybe the fault lies with what I want?

Anyway, I know that I need to do more growing before I make a decision about Handsome and I. No sense in going off half-cocked and blowing something that could have been great with a little work. There's also no sense in wasting time on something that never would have worked. So confusing.

I guess I just need to figure out exactly what it is that I need and what I'd be willing to sacrifice to get my needs filled. Maybe I should quit reaching out for a star when I have a candle in front of me to light my way.

It's all so chaotic, my thoughts and my life. I've been caught up in this whirlwind and I haven't been able to focus in on any one thing. There's problems with my kids, and getting back to school, and with Handsome, and with my family, and as always with the house. I can't even tell up from down anymore, and I guess I was hoping that Handsome would be a rooting force in my life, but I think he's hoping for the same from me and I'm not very good at being anyone's rock.

All I know is that it's late and I have to get up early tomorrow. I'm praying so hard that the kids don't get a snow day. Please, please don't let the snow cover the roads! I'm supposed to go somewhere with a friend tomorrow and I don't think it will be possible with four tag-alongs. Not that they're that badly behaved in public. Just that they get bored so easily and this promises to be a pretty mundane task. Please, please no snow.

Oh, funny thought. Do you know how you prayed for snow days as a kid and how it never seemed to snow much at all, and now as an adult, it won't quit snowing? Do you think it's God's sense of humor showing that he answers your prayers for snow that you made as a kid when you've finally got kids of your own and view snowdays as evil? Hmmmm, something to think about.

Anyhoo, I obviously need some sleep. As always, it's pretty random, but now I'm wondering if it even makes sense anymore. Just blame it on all the cold medicine I'm on if you can't make heads or tails of this tonight. I'm just writing because I'm so proud of fixing my keyboard by myself and I wanted to test it out. Works well enough for me!

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