Nin-laws

Okay, so I'm a sucker. Just call me Cleopatra, queen of denial. Of course, if things would just go the way I expect them to, I wouldn't be caught off guard and with my defenses down.

Well, I won't leave you in suspense (I know it's killing you). I got a text message from Sexy last night. I didn't actually expect to hear from him for at least two months, if ever again. The fact that he seemed almost friendly really threw me off. I began to wonder if he had been abducted by aliens or something.

Of course, it wasn't alien abduction. What happened was that his mother laid into him. I haven't really spent much time around his mom, but I get the impression that she's not a lady to raise her voice. Sexy has a very deep respect for her. So if she does raise her voice and at the actions of her son, he apparently listens (for a change).

If I have one regret about how my relationship with Sexy has progressed, it would be that I didn't push getting to know his family better. I've met his younger brother a couple of times at the bar. I've met one of his older brothers a couple of times when myself or a family member needed a tow. His mom and dad, I met once for about ten minutes. Still, I have very warm feelings for his family and this just cements it. I'm officially in love with his family.

Okay, train of though derail, what do you call the family members of a guy you're sorta seeing? Would they be nin-laws?

Well, if that's the case, my nin-laws are smart people. I mean, I've been dating Sexy for over two years now, and I've been around his mom for ten minutes of it and she knows better than Sexy does that I'm nuts about him. Smart, smart lady.

Of course, I'm not sure if this really changes anything. She may have read him the riot act about the way he treats me, but that doesn't mean he's changed his mind. I'm pretty sure he still thinks I'm foolin' around. And I haven't quite forgiven him for his accusations. I'm pretty offended about the names he called me and still quite pissed about the purse violation.

I'm really at a loss of where to go from here. Do I let him earn his way back into my good graces? I know I'll forgive him. I can't help myself. I just can't stay angry with anyone, hardly. There's been a couple of people I've stayed mad at, but they really worked at it. And they didn't have Sexy's smile, God help me. Do I end the romance but keep the friendship? Is that even possible?

I could drive myself nuts thinking about it all night. And let me tell you, the emotional whirlpool I'm in right now is just plain crazy. Angry, sad, happy, anxious. One leads right into another so that there's no way to tell when one stops and another begins. I don't know if all of this is worth it. But how do you just walk away?

I almost wish he would've taken a couple of months to contact me, instead of right away. I would've had time to think things through a little better. Maybe he would've too. Maybe our emotions would've settled down enough by that time to pick a course of action. I hate this feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I mean, we've talked to each other briefly the last couple of nights, but there's been no mention of what happened or any talk of feelings or such. No, I love you or sorry or miss you. It's been pretty casual, which belies the intensity I know we are both feeling right now. It's like we're both waiting for something. I'm just not sure what that something is. I know it's not an apology. I don't have a reason to apologize and he's not going to give one. Even if he did, I can't say it would help with the way I'm feeling. It just seems like this thing was so monumental and something monumental should come from it, not just casual talk. It seems wrong.

I guess the first thing I should do is ask myself where I want to go from here. It seems like such an easy question. Well, it is. It's the answer that's so hard. Still, the journey of a lifetime begins with a single step, doesn't it? I wonder though, is there a way to non-divorce the boy toy but keep the nin-laws? They're so cool! Anyone who can make Sexy see even a little bit of reason is a person to know. I am so in awe.