I just got back from class, and my mind is racing ninety-to-nothin'. I realized, tonight, how much that crazy thought tangent happens during my daytime activity as well. It would seem like every thought that runs through my brain (and most of the ones that leave my mouth) follow some fanatical chain of events that would make no sense if you didn't ride that train yourself. For those who suffered through this with me tonight, I just hope you found the ride entertaining. If not, all I can say is that you need to keep walking and avoid eye contact with me. Just think of me as the unwanted conversation bum of the post-class subway, and your attention being the coin I seek. If you don't want to "pay" attention, just pretend you don't see me. Not that I've received that impression from anyone. Thankfully, most people seem amused, or even educated, by what the filter between my brain and my mouth doesn't catch. Still, I wonder how many people leave a conversation with me thinking, "That girl needs a muzzle!"
Here's a thought: I wonder how many of my classmates would be shocked to discover that my daytime alter ego is not this buoyant? Believe it or not, I don't wake up fueled like a rocket. I rarely have conversations on my cellphone. I don't slide down my banister, dance on the table, or chase moving vehicles. I'm actually very grounded, and not easily stimulated by outside forces. There's very few things that will wind me up like an eight day clock. It just so happens that the written word is one of them (lucky you!).
Writing is one of my passions. I don't know what it is that sparked this little bonfire within me, but I do know what I love about it. Quite simply, it's the most powerful thing a person can ever do. You can create worlds, conquer worlds, save the world, change a mind, move a mountain, touch the stars, touch a heart, and all with nothing more than a blank page and a little ink. Isn't that amazing? You have the power to control it, or change it. You make the rules. Yeah, you have to know where the commas go when you turn in an essay to an English teacher. But, when you're all alone and it's just you and your blank page, punctuation doesn't matter. You get to set the boundaries. Tell me where else in life you get to simply "do away" with the things you don't like, without repercussions? Uh, nowhere! Where else in the world are all the doors open to you and all the possibilities are truly endless? Again, nowhere! So, why do so many people take that for granted?
Okay, going to step off my little soap box and explain the relevance of this to my hyper drive mouth in class. Normally, I procrastinate way too much to be an overachiever. However, I'm sitting in a class that occurs after the sun sets and my adrenaline starts flowing to keep me from slipping into an exhaustive coma. I'm working with a subject matter that strikes a chord in me, and I get to share that with other adults (my audience during the day is a bunch of toddlers). I'm working with my element, and for the most part given free reign. The end result is too much to contain. All I can do is give fair warning: if you've had all of me that you can stand, then avoid eye contact and keep walking. I don't chase moving vehicles, promise.
No comments:
Post a Comment